Little Funnies

Yeah, my baby's cute.

Last week, my trainer was on vacation in Cancun. I told him that he better make it a fun vacation because it was going to be hard work helping me get rid of this baby belly. Shortly after that conversation, Preston called and said he wanted to pick up Chicken Express on the way home from the golf course. I told him to bring me fried okra and mashed potatoes with gravy. I then ate a fair amount of chocolate chip cookie dough while waiting for him to get home.

While reviewing world history questions from a practice test, Preston asked me about artwork that I might have seen in Paris. My response: I don't know. Let's go get snow cones.

While googling swimwear tips for a postpartum belly, I found the blog Ain't No Mom Jeans. While reading the Blog Ain't No Mom Jeans, I found this blog, which is the funniest stuff I've read in a while. Although, situational comedy that involves new parents and babies is much more funny than it used to be.

I bought mom swimsuits. One pieces. One even looks like a tankini... but it's not. HOLLA. This is a new phase of life, but not quite to the phase where it's okay to purchase the refillable tub of popcorn at the movie theatre.

We have just now started putting decorations on the walls in Charlie's room. And I don't know what these crazy people are on that post images of their perfectly decorated baby rooms that look like they were staged for a spread in Architectural Digest. Where is the crazy tacky mobile? Where is the changing table cover that just got splattered with baby poop that you had to throw on the floor mid diaper change? Where is the pee stain on the wall above the changing table? Where are the five toys you pulled out for play time and never picked up? Where is the bottle with leftover breast milk (a tragedy in it's own right) you forgot in the diaper bag the last time you left the house three days ago? Yeah, those aren't real rooms.

I have two friends that are magical pregnancy unicorns (a phrase from the movie What to Expect, which was really funny situational comedy if you just had a baby).

You might think you don't know the Barney song, but you do. You might think you will never sing the Barney song to your child, but you will catch yourself starting to sing it and wonder, "What's that song from?" Then you will remember and you will smoothly switch songs. You might think there is no way you would ever finish out the Barney song, knowing what it is, but there will come a day when you do this thing. This is also a new phase in life, but still not quite to the refillable popcorn tub phase.