5 Weeks (Really 4 weeks and 6 days!)

I'm feeling...
Tired. Gigantic. Like I don't know how I can be pregnant for another month because there is no place else for baby parts to go.

I keep thinking...
• That my feet look like someone else's feet. I want to find that girl from jr. high that told me I had chicken legs and send her a picture of my swollen feet - ankles (fankles?), just to let her know I could Godzilla stomp her right now.

• About Jessica Simpson. I like to look at pictures of her on the internet and in magazines and tell myself "I'm not that big." And I'm talking about the caught in a bad moment while crossing the street pictures in People and US Magazine, not the pretty airbrushed pictures in Vogue. I realize this is petty and that on the most obvious level I should feel bad about giving another pregnant woman such a hard time. But... yeah. I'm going to keep doing it. I might google image her after I finish this post so I feel better about that strawberry cake I ate at lunch.

• That I have two faces right now, the gigantic swollen one that I see in the middle of the night when I walk by the bathroom mirror in a drowsy haze every two hours and the one I see after I take a hot shower in the morning, which is slightly less swollen and much more manageable, especially after I've had my morning Jessica Simpson Google Image Bashing Session.

Cravings?
Strawberry cake. (and peanut butter sandwiches, apples, chocolate chip cookies, mocha frapachinos from Starbucks and Rasinets.)

Comments I choose not to be offended by. Really, people say some crazy things! But they say them with smiles and feelings of camaraderie and such good will that it's hard not to smile and laugh.

• The deli employee that gave me a free piece of strawberry cake: "I just have a thing for chubby, cute girls!"

• The deli owner: "I saw you walk in and then you turned to the side and I just felt uncomfortable for you! You're all belly!"

• The Starbucks lady: "You're just... sooo... pregnant."

• Nail Salon Lady #1: "You're so big." Nail Salon Lady #2: "Ohh, you are big! Are you going to have a C-section? I know some people don't like to mess up their lady parts."

6 1/2 Weeks left!

Hard to believe that we are now 33.5 weeks pregnant. It seems like such a big number. I've been sick with some kind of monstorous head cold for the past several days. It also happened to be spring break, aka a week of free vacation. I think my body has decided to get sick every time I'm supposed to be on vacation. I've been blowing through boxes of tissue and hibernating at my parents house this whole time. Preston, on the other hand, is in Hawaii participating in the wedding of two very good friends.

What am I thinking...

• I've started washing Charlie's little clothes, and yes, I say "Charlie's little clothes" in everyday conversation about laundry instead of just clothes or laundry. We're using Dreft laundry detergent and it smells like babies. So another phrase I say is "Oh, his cute little clothes smell so good!"

• Preston started reading books to Charlie (aka my belly) a few weeks ago. Sometimes, he drifts into a British accent while he's reading. At first, I thought it was because he was reading a more formal book of fairy tales, but he does it with regular children's books sometimes, especially with dialogue. I asked him about it last night, when he used the accent for some bunnies in the book "Charlie the Caterpillar" and he said, "Why can't the bunnies be British?"

These conversations happened...

Pres: How are you hanging the clothes on the hangers? These outfits are facing a different direction than the ones you hung last night.
Me: I don't care. I don't want to be too anal about it.
Pres: I'll just hang these up for you then.
Me: Make sure you put them in the right section. I've put them in order by size. And if you use one of the hangers from the store that has a size on it, make sure the outfit is that size.
Pres: Okay, I'm glad we're not being anal about it.

Me: Oh my gosh, my feet are swollen!
Pres: You need to lay down and elevate them.
Me: I don't want to lay down. Is there anything else I can do? I'll look it up in this What to Expect book... hmm, would you consider this "severe swelling"?
Pres: I'll google it... how do you spell cankles?

Me, to my dad: We're about to run out of dog food for Cooper. I need to go to Target and get some. While we're there, we might as well pick up some strawberries.
Me again (Later, at the store): Since there is this display of baked cookies in the fruit section, we might as well get some... I'm sure the break and bake cookies are better, so I'll just go get some of those in the cold section... What kind do you want? Oh, you don't know? Let's just get these two different kinds (chocolate chip and deluxe chocolate chip) and decide later... And since we're in the cold section, let's go ahead and get some ice cream to go with the cookies... Now I just need to get some mac and cheese and I'll be done.
My Dad: You shouldn't go grocery shopping anymore.

Am I jealous of Preston because he's in Hawaii?
Heck no. If I was in Hawaii, I wouldn't have these awesome break and bake chocolate chip cookies.

8 weeks to go!

My mom and I at the "Girlie" Shower

How am I feeling?

Good enough to post pictures!

My hand is ALWAYS numb. I wrote about 30 thank you notes on Saturday and really regretted it on Sunday morning. I had a hand hangover. Also, I will not be styling my hair as much for the next eight weeks... which gives me the perfect opportunity to try the curly girl method to styling curly hair that I found on Pinterest, unless it turns out I'm just too lazy for that, then I will do the greasy, frizzy with extra fly aways ponytail method that I learned in college.

The ladies are excited!

After two baby showers this weekend, a couples shower on Friday and a girlie shower on Saturday, I also feel extremely thankful and lucky to have so many thoughtful friends and family members.

The hosts made all of my favorite foods - which it seems all
include cream cheese. And look at that strawberry cake!
 And the Charlie needlepoint thingie! They made those!

They showed up in full force and "showered" us with awesome swag for Charlie. That so many people wanted to celebrate with us and support us made both Preston and I feel really special.

I keep thinking...

• My arms look fat! My hips look fat! I thought I looked good in the mirror, but in that picture I just posed for, I look fat! I thought I could fit through that space between the wall and that chair, but I can't and now I feel fat! That person just looked at me and now I feel fat! I thought I looked fat in that photo from back in December, but that maternity skirt I was wearing doesn't fit anymore and that makes me feel FAT!

• So many people give much better gifts that I give. Seriously. I've received some amazing gifts from everyone at the baby showers this weekend. I know handmade stuff by me isn't going to impress anyone, so I need to up my gift budget!

• I would pay extra to purchase baby items that are preassembled - pack n' play, swing, bouncer. I also wonder how profitable an "assembly" business might be... for special events like baby items, Christmas and birthday parties. You buy it, we put it together. I think people would pay for that.

Pres and my dad put together the swing while
Cooper made sure there was no funny business.

• No vacation planning for this girl. I've realized that I keep trying to do things like plan dream vacations and rip out the plants in my flower beds and replace them with a scene from a photo in Southern Living Magazine when what I need to be doing is reading the labor and delivery chapter in What to Expect When You're Expecting. Although, I will say that Preston did some excellent flower beds last week while I stood behind him and pointed to where I wanted to put each petunia and verbena.

• I'm wondering how long it's going to take me to get rid of this extra chin. In the meanwhile, I'm going to name it Carla and say things like, "Geez, Carla is always in my way!" and "Make sure Carla isn't in the picture with us."

Oh Carla, you're funny!

Cravings
Apples, strawberries, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on white bread, cheese cubes are back, tomatoes with avocados, goat cheese and lime juice - at first it was mozzarella with tomatoes and lime, but I guess it's changed a bit.

Sleep

Really, the worst thing about sleeping is that my hands fall asleep. I think the Luna Lullaby pillow has saved my sleep life. I still wake up and have to really try to get back to sleep (NO I am NOT typing this post at 3 am on and Monday morning while washing a load of baby laundry that I won't use for two months!), but I don't have any pain or discomfort issues at night. Except I will say that when I get up to go to the bathroom at night, and when I wake up in the morning, my feet feel tender, but after a shower, it's much better.

9 Weeks to go!

How am I feeling?
I feel huge! Gigantic! Enormous! and slow. So, like a really fat sloth, or Godzilla in a slow motion scene.

I keep thinking...

• I'm about eight months pregnant, so if pregnancy really did last nine months instead of ten, which no one tells you before hand, I would be just one month out. 

• There are two baby showers this weekend, so next week, our house will be filled with baby stuff. I told Preston this morning that it would feel more real when we have all that stuff in our house. He said, "THAT'S going to make it feel real?"

•People keep telling me how their babies came early, or on time, or late. But the ones that make my breath catch a little are the early ones. He could be here in less than nine weeks. 

• I have to get myself to a beach during the Christmas/New Years holidays. 

Movement

Last Friday night, I thought my torso was going to explode, like that guy in Total Recall when the alien pops out of his abdomen. I don't know what Charlie was doing. Preston thinks he was trying to turn over and hadn't yet realized he didn't have space to do that anymore, or that he was trying to suck his thumb but it slipped out of his mouth and he was squirming to find it again (he read about both of these possibilities online). We had to cancel dinner plans with friends. But the next morning, I felt fine, and I actually felt smaller, so I may have also been bloated or something. Who knows! 

His movements in general are stronger, more pronounced and more frequent. 

Cravings
Strawberries, Cottage cheese with anything, but especially granola, any kind of fruit, no cheese cubes!, hot cheesy things look a little gross right now, except for spinach artichoke dip, which I still haven't eaten, or seen for that matter, so it might look gross too. 

Sleep
Pillow Nest is going strong!

Difficult things to do with an easily numbing hand.

1. Sleep.

2. Fix hair. This includes drying and curling.

3. Get up, from any position and any location, but especially the floor, bathtub and low chairs.

4. Sit down, in any position and any location where you need to support yourself with your hands on the way down.

5. Write, if the hand that is numb is your dominant hand (mine is).

6. Make vindicating hand gestures from your car when someone cuts you off.

7. Hold a kindle while laying down.

8. Self manicures, which are always difficult to do on your dominant hand anyway. It's like having two right hands (for me, because I'm a lefty).

9. The following yoga poses: Cat/cow, downward dog, plank, and happy baby.

10. Play on your iPhone in the middle of the night when you can't sleep and mostly likely woke up because your hand was numb.

(I'm just kidding about number six; I can still do that pretty easily.)