5 Weeks (Really 4 weeks and 6 days!)

I'm feeling...
Tired. Gigantic. Like I don't know how I can be pregnant for another month because there is no place else for baby parts to go.

I keep thinking...
• That my feet look like someone else's feet. I want to find that girl from jr. high that told me I had chicken legs and send her a picture of my swollen feet - ankles (fankles?), just to let her know I could Godzilla stomp her right now.

• About Jessica Simpson. I like to look at pictures of her on the internet and in magazines and tell myself "I'm not that big." And I'm talking about the caught in a bad moment while crossing the street pictures in People and US Magazine, not the pretty airbrushed pictures in Vogue. I realize this is petty and that on the most obvious level I should feel bad about giving another pregnant woman such a hard time. But... yeah. I'm going to keep doing it. I might google image her after I finish this post so I feel better about that strawberry cake I ate at lunch.

• That I have two faces right now, the gigantic swollen one that I see in the middle of the night when I walk by the bathroom mirror in a drowsy haze every two hours and the one I see after I take a hot shower in the morning, which is slightly less swollen and much more manageable, especially after I've had my morning Jessica Simpson Google Image Bashing Session.

Cravings?
Strawberry cake. (and peanut butter sandwiches, apples, chocolate chip cookies, mocha frapachinos from Starbucks and Rasinets.)

Comments I choose not to be offended by. Really, people say some crazy things! But they say them with smiles and feelings of camaraderie and such good will that it's hard not to smile and laugh.

• The deli employee that gave me a free piece of strawberry cake: "I just have a thing for chubby, cute girls!"

• The deli owner: "I saw you walk in and then you turned to the side and I just felt uncomfortable for you! You're all belly!"

• The Starbucks lady: "You're just... sooo... pregnant."

• Nail Salon Lady #1: "You're so big." Nail Salon Lady #2: "Ohh, you are big! Are you going to have a C-section? I know some people don't like to mess up their lady parts."