Beautiful Nails

I'm feeling pretty good lately. I feel normal. By normal, I mean that I don't feel like a zombie. 

So I got a mani/pedi. Really, I got a manicure, and then a color change on my toes, so a cheap pedi. That's how I roll. Then I added a design to my big toes, which added an extra charge (unfortunately, also how I roll.) 

Although I feel more normal, I also feel fashionably stifled. I've got a postpartum tummy that shrikes at the mention of a waistband and sighs in comfort at the thought of nightgowns and empire waist dresses. I've got these giant breast feeding boobs that would end my most awesome strapless bra like a luchador team on steroids. Coupled with the fear that each piece of jewelry I wear exponentially increases the risk of scratching my baby, I don't have much room for creative expression.  

I left the house determined to return with toes that screamed 4th of July but by the time I sat in the chair, I wanted something that just kind of whispered it... or coral.

What I got were Wonder Woman Toes.

If you can't put a photo of your own toes on your blog,
it's not worth it.

I. Love. Them. I love their tackiness. I love the glitter. I love their spirit. Most of all, I love that I feel so confident. If I can wear these toes, I can do anything. I have never, at least as an adult, had any kind of nail art on my person. I didn't realize it would be so empowering. 

Baby slang part 2

Just a few more terms that you might hear around our house...

I Sold him to the gypsies: this means that we put Charlie down for a nap in the pack n play in our bedroom rather than the crib in his room. As in... "where's Charlie?" "I sold him to the gypsies." "oh, ok." I don't know where we got that. Just roll with it.

Put eyes on him: we say this when we want to check on him in person, not with the monitor. I just think its a sweet thug to say.

Gang gang (s): This is Charlie's first baby slang term. He says this when he is super upset and hungry. As if he is saying, "Im hungry and I want my gang gangs NOW, people!" He doesn't say it when he is just upset, or just tired. So basically, that what he calls my boobs. Gang gangs.

How to make a doctor's visit less horrible.

I didn't really know much about infant doctor visits before. What I knew was that sometimes, they are exciting. You get to find out hight and weight, see you baby on that little baby scale and go home and record the details in your baby book. And then sometimes, there's shots. And anxious parents. And crying babies. Etc.

Now, after my many visits (three) and extensive knowledge, I think this check list will make those doctor's visits less horrible during the horrible moments and get us in and out as quickly as possible.

- Try to get into a room as fast as possible, so you don't wait with your child next to the sneezy gross sick person in the waiting room. And once you are in that room, make sure they don't forget that you're waiting in there.

- Strip baby down to clean diaper before the nurse or doctor enters the room. Don't waste time doing this after the doctor gets into the room. Baby will need a clean diaper at the start to get an accurate weight. Bring a blanket to wrap baby in while you wait.

- Get the diaper changing gear out and organized on the patient table. At our first visit, we went through six diapers in one hour. We didn't expect any of them and had to dig around in the diaper bag each time. Don't waste time!!

- Even if you don't think you need a pacifier, bring a freakin' pacifier.

- Make a list of your questions. I keep mine in the reminders app on my iPhone, so when I think of something, I add it to the list right then. Spend your time on the questions!

- If both parents are at the visit, one parent checks out while the other parent takes baby to the car.

- Feed baby right before you leave the house.

- Wear a nursing shirt or dress and a nursing bra if breast feeding. Or take a bottle. Sometimes these things last so long that it's time for baby to eat again while you are there, or you can nurse to comfort baby after shots during the ten minute waiting time. See if you can feed baby in the room before you leave.

- The first set of shots was hard to watch, but not as hard as I thought it would be (again) based on what I've heard from other people or seen on TV. We brought a favorite toy that sings, thinking it would comfort Charlie during the shots, but he didn't even notice it.

- Take a snack and a drink. Take a snack and a drink!! If your partner is attending as well, but doesn't think he/she will need a snack and a drink, bring them a snack and a drink anyway.

I'm sure there is more, but you know, I haven't figured that part out yet. I do know that the less time I spend wasting time, the more time I can spend on questions.

Birthday Blast

When you turn thirty, your birthday should last three days. And you should take lots of pictures. I got to three days, but with no pictures. Not one.

Actually, I take that back. I took this one.

Play time after nursing. 

And this one.

I hope he never stops cuddling.

I did actually go out with friends. My friend Ashley gave me a wine glass with my age on it. It's bedazzled. I'm going to call it my pimp cup.

Charlie spent his first whole night away from us, which felt weird but not as crazy as you might think based on how people describe it. I only wanted to call at midnight, 5 am and 8 am. This is when I had to get up and pump so my boobs didn't explode.

My parents came to town, we spent the day swimming with family and friends and their kiddos. And Sunday has been very relaxing - read: I'm still wearing PJs at 6:37 pm.

It wasn't a balls to the wall trip to Cancun, but it was a pretty nice birthday.

Cousin Lovin'

Charlie has some wonderful cousins to grow up with.

Cousin Nicholas to play with...

Cousin Will (in orange) to play with and to look up to...

And (2nd) cousin Hannah to babysit! 

Jenna, Hannah's sister, was there too, but she didn't sit still long enough for a picture.

The first two photos were taken on Mother's Day and the third was taken on Father's Day. Isn't it crazy how fast they grow? I'm not ready for this much growing. 

Charlie, I'm going to need you to back up a little bit.

Preston's First Fathers Day

We're spending the morning with Mimi and BB, Preston's parents, as well as Preston's grandparents. So Pres went to get them Father's Day cards this morning. (We have come to think of this as not procrastinating, but scheduling.)When Preston got home, he handed me a card and said, "This is what you're giving me for Father's Day. I think it describes our relationship perfectly."

Baby Slang

There is some baby slang that you probably already know, like passie for pacifier. But Pres and I have developed our own little lingo. These are some of my favorites.

Tartar sauce - diaper rash cream. Some of it comes in little packets, similar to fast food ketchup packets. And it's white.

Enchilada sauce - poop

Does he have eyes? - is he awake?

Pirate eye - only one eye is open. When he has pirate eye, you have to say "Arrr!"

Wanna get a boobie? - time to nurse

Pajama jammy jam time - bed time. There is a song that I made up to go along with it. It's pretty much awesome.

Blowout - big poop

Carseat blowout - really messy big poop

A just in case - burp cloth or cloth diaper in hand or nearby, just in case of a blowout or spit up or drool or something we haven't experienced yet.

A cover - cloth diaper solely dedicated to blocking pee during a diaper change. This must be a cloth diaper, wash clothes and burp clothes are too thin and will result in an uninhibited stream of pee in your face.

Are you melting? - im uncomfortable with the amount of sun on my baby's skin, cover him with a blanket right now please and lets get inside before I freak out.

I've read that... - I think you're doing that wrong

- with love from my phone

Old Lady Girl's Night Out

Last night, I went out for drinks and dinner with some girlfriends for a girl's night. It was an old lady girl's night out because, well, we're old ladies. Gone are the days when going out required no advance planning, late nights and late mornings as well as Nacogdoches cab rides where the creepy cab driver knows where we live and where he picked us up last.

What do I mean by that? Well, it was the first time in several months that I did anything like this, and the first time in many more months that I did something like this and had a drink. Also, the time at which I got home and the amount I drank was important because I had to schedule this outing around breast feeding. My friend Ashley drives over an hour to get to work and back, and a late night was not going to work for either of us. So we decided that Girl's Night should end at 8 pm.

8 pm.

It was so much fun. But like most outings I've been on (all three of them) since Charlie was born almost 2 months ago, It's hard to relax. I feel like I need to get in two months worth of girlie conversations, just like I felt like I needed to get in two months worth of dates when Preston and I went out to dinner a few weeks ago. It's impossible to fit all of that in to one night out. My brain filters through conversation ideas and responses faster than my mouth can get them out. I can't include everyone in one conversation, like I love to do, because I can only focus on one person at a time. This is just another area of life where I have consciously let go of any Type A personality tendencies, even if I wasn't aware of them before.

But while I can't be the leader of the conversation right now, at least I made it to the table. and at least I have some good friends that will put up with my craziness while I figure all of this grown up, old lady mom stuff out, even after getting tipsy after drinking only two (grand and amazing) bellinis, declaring a weekly girl's night that we would call Bellini Ba-Thursday instead of, you know, something obvious like the recommended Thirsty Thursday, and dramatically dropping (may also be described and accidental juggling?) my to go box in the parking lot.

What else happened? Well, obviously, I didn't drive home. So when Ashley pulled into my driveway right behind Preston and his parents, in his mom's car, I jumped out and said, "Did you drink too much to drive home, too?" Thankfully, he did not.

Little Funnies

Yeah, my baby's cute.

Last week, my trainer was on vacation in Cancun. I told him that he better make it a fun vacation because it was going to be hard work helping me get rid of this baby belly. Shortly after that conversation, Preston called and said he wanted to pick up Chicken Express on the way home from the golf course. I told him to bring me fried okra and mashed potatoes with gravy. I then ate a fair amount of chocolate chip cookie dough while waiting for him to get home.

While reviewing world history questions from a practice test, Preston asked me about artwork that I might have seen in Paris. My response: I don't know. Let's go get snow cones.

While googling swimwear tips for a postpartum belly, I found the blog Ain't No Mom Jeans. While reading the Blog Ain't No Mom Jeans, I found this blog, which is the funniest stuff I've read in a while. Although, situational comedy that involves new parents and babies is much more funny than it used to be.

I bought mom swimsuits. One pieces. One even looks like a tankini... but it's not. HOLLA. This is a new phase of life, but not quite to the phase where it's okay to purchase the refillable tub of popcorn at the movie theatre.

We have just now started putting decorations on the walls in Charlie's room. And I don't know what these crazy people are on that post images of their perfectly decorated baby rooms that look like they were staged for a spread in Architectural Digest. Where is the crazy tacky mobile? Where is the changing table cover that just got splattered with baby poop that you had to throw on the floor mid diaper change? Where is the pee stain on the wall above the changing table? Where are the five toys you pulled out for play time and never picked up? Where is the bottle with leftover breast milk (a tragedy in it's own right) you forgot in the diaper bag the last time you left the house three days ago? Yeah, those aren't real rooms.

I have two friends that are magical pregnancy unicorns (a phrase from the movie What to Expect, which was really funny situational comedy if you just had a baby).

You might think you don't know the Barney song, but you do. You might think you will never sing the Barney song to your child, but you will catch yourself starting to sing it and wonder, "What's that song from?" Then you will remember and you will smoothly switch songs. You might think there is no way you would ever finish out the Barney song, knowing what it is, but there will come a day when you do this thing. This is also a new phase in life, but still not quite to the refillable popcorn tub phase.